An unfortunate trend I see in many new entrepreneurs, whether or not they’re aware of it, is they throw their stress at each other, their partners, and their friends. What is throwing stress? This term I developed to describe someone who uses their stress to push against other people and events in their lives on an energetic level.
That is, they reply to inquiry from a place of stress, exemplifying all the things that they have happening to them right now in this moment, and citing them as excuses as to why they haven’t replied, why they haven’t gotten the meeting done or scheduled, etc.
They are so embroiled in the experience of all the balls that they are juggling, that they will say, “I’ve done X, Y, and Z, and I have a, b, and c still on the docket. That’s why I haven’t responded yet.”
Almost always, those entrepreneurs who throw their stress will cite these excuses before an excuse is needed. This is the difference between an entrepreneur who is in control of their experience and one who is not. An entrepreneur in control would reply, “I got your message, and I will let you know soon.”
What do I mean by ‘in control’? How can one ever be in control in business?
Just as in life, there are only so many things we can control in business. Things like our task management, our lead generation, ideation stream, goal setting, project deadlines, and pricing. By managing well the things within your control, those things out of your control will be far less stressful.
Good business management can even be the difference between an emergency being catastrophic or a minor stress. In one scenario, the business suffers or even must go bankrupt due to the emergency, while the other has a ‘rainy day fund’ that handles the event seamlessly.
If you find yourself using your business as an excuse more often than not, it is time to reexamine how you are managing your daily life.
What do you need to be saying no to? Do you need a better task management system? A financial system like YNAB? Or better levels of organization? Or do you need to simply examine how you’re managing stress and integrate a meditation or yoga practice into your life?
Your friends and family love you. Your colleagues trust you, and show it by working with you over and over again. They don’t need any excuses. They will still be by your side regardless if you are busy. Telling them that you are busy before they ever ask for explanation or apologies is a symptom of too much stress stress and a lack of faith in others due to a likely lack of faith in yourself.
Take this tough-love moment to reexamine your work. I know that you did not start a business to be this stressed out. Take care.