How Stress is hurting your Business Relationships

An unfortunate trend I see in many new entrepreneurs, whether or not they’re aware of it, is they throw their stress at each other, their partners, and their friends.  What is throwing stress?  This term I developed to describe someone who uses their stress to push against other people and events in their lives on an energetic level.

That is, they reply to inquiry from a place of stress, exemplifying all the things that they have happening to them right now in this moment, and citing them as excuses as to why they haven’t replied, why they haven’t gotten the meeting done or scheduled, etc.

They are so embroiled in the experience of all the balls that they are juggling, that they will say, “I’ve done X, Y, and Z, and I have a, b, and c still on the docket. That’s why I haven’t responded yet.”

Almost always, those entrepreneurs who throw their stress will cite these excuses before an excuse is needed.  This is the difference between an entrepreneur who is in control of their experience and one who is not.  An entrepreneur in control would reply, “I got your message, and I will let you know soon.”

What do I mean by ‘in control’?  How can one ever be in control in business?

Just as in life, there are only so many things we can control in business.  Things like our task management, our lead generation, ideation stream, goal setting, project deadlines, and pricing.  By managing well the things within your control, those things out of your control will be far less stressful.

Good business management can even be the difference between an emergency being catastrophic or a minor stress.  In one scenario, the business suffers or even must go bankrupt due to the emergency, while the other has a ‘rainy day fund’ that handles the event seamlessly.

If you find yourself using your business as an excuse more often than not, it is time to reexamine how you are managing your daily life.

What do you need to be saying no to? Do you need a better task management system? A financial system like YNAB? Or better levels of organization? Or do you need to simply examine how you’re managing stress and integrate a meditation or yoga practice into your life?

Your friends and family love you.  Your colleagues trust you, and show it by working with you over and over again.  They don’t need any excuses.  They will still be by your side regardless if you are busy.  Telling them that you are busy before they ever ask for explanation or apologies is a symptom of too much stress stress and a lack of faith in others due to a likely lack of faith in yourself.

Take this tough-love moment to reexamine your work.  I know that you did not start a business to be this stressed out.  Take care.






Want to work on your work / life balance?  Get on my calendar!

Why Your Small Tasks Are So Big

Entrepreneurship is about running a business (or businesses), but what does that look like?  More importantly, what does a successful entrepreneur look like? Many may jump to imagining a bustling New York City business person or a traveling CEO changing lives around the world. We see jets, beaches, cars, black tie events. We see the excitement and the perks of building your empire.

While entrepreneurship can take this form, know that this is not usually the reality, especially in the beginning. For a new entrepreneur, these assumptions about what their lives and workday should look like is very detrimental, especially for future generations, and lead quickly to burnout.

Slow & Steady

Now don’t get me wrong, having aspirations of success is not a bad thing at all and is highly encouraged. However, when you have a warped perception of what being your own boss truly entails, you then have a warped perception of what your own path to success should look like.

How do you change this?

Focus on the small!

By taking the time to break down your ultimate goals in to smaller steps, you halt the overwhelm and can focus on what feels more manageable. This may seem like a no-brainer — we have all been told to take it one step at a time at one time or another.  But most don’t actually put into practice an awareness of how each day is helping you in the bigger picture.

Of course, we like to emphasize the endgame.  That’s where we all want to fast forward to! But patience young grasshopper; everything good takes time.

Dance To Your Own Drum

So now you are still left wondering “what should this day-to-day work consist of?”

Sadly I don’t have an answer for you, because there is no right answer.

When you take on the responsibility of being your own boss, you have unlimited freedom and no one to tell you what to do (which is why many of us became entrepreneurs). It may seem a little scary to have all that power, so naturally we look to others. Ultimately, it’s about finding a system that works for you. Plenty of entrepreneurs will tell you their foolproof “secret to success”, and while exploring those productivity tips can be super helpful, no one can truly tell you what will work best for you.

Not to mention, relying on others to tell you how or where you should be can result in comparisonitis and self-doubt. There is no “right time” in your business journey.  We all have our own unique tactics, skill sets, paces, and experiences. Don’t let others tell you you’re behind.  You’re right where you need to be.

Embrace the Big and Small

Bottom line, entrepreneurship isn’t always sexy, and the sooner you realize and embrace the mundane will you be able to really evolve. Every business experiences minutia like waiting on hold, sending emails, and making reservations. This will never go away, so let’s embrace it!

See how I tackle my day and “dance to my own drum” below! 🙂